On my desk and around my office are little gifts that my mother has given me over the years – a “Dare to Dream” poem, a couple of her photos of fog among the Redwood trees, and the latest addition, a collectible Mother & Daughter porcelain plaque with a quote on it.

Every day when I look up I see a bit of my mom through these items, and feel her love and support. Yet I talk with her, over our video phones, only maybe four to six times a year. We both live busy lives and are both working and raising families; my younger sister is just a year older than my oldest daughter. 

But when I think of my mom, I smile. And that’s how I would love for my daughters to think of me when they are grown. But how does this come about?

Mother-Daughter Duet by mother-daughter team, Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum, promises to show  you (and I) the path.  

Combining stories from their own relationship struggles and successes, their journey of letting go of the mother-daughter dynamic and become friends, with the stories from many other mothers and daughters they interviewed while researching this book, Fuller and Plum provide practical insights  into how we can develop healthy relationships with our daughters and with our own mothers.

At 201 pages, the book is broken into thirteen chapters, plus an introduction and epilogue. You’ll be taken on a journey of engaging with your daughter through early adulthood through marriage, motherhoods, and beyond.

Each chapter is themed for specific hotpoint or issue, like validation, communication, making wedding plans, when your daughter becomes a wife and then a parent, and,  of course, forgiveness.

Both a mother’s point of view and a daughter’s point of view is given for each topic, with a coming together for what is called “two part harmony”.  Discussion questions for each chapter are provided at the end of the book.

One of the things I really like about this book is that Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum do not pretend that they are perfect or have the perfect mother-daughter relationship. They’ve struggled, just like many others and have through trial and error, communication, and counselling have found a better harmony. They are transparent in that in writing the book, they ran into issues within their relationship and found ways to work through them. This, I believe, adds the the credibility and integrity of the insights they share.

As I watch my own daughter grow into a teen, and know that around the corner she will be off on her own, I am heartened to learn that moms who learn to cherish their daughter’s growth and independence have an easier time making the transition. While my daughters are not yet adults, I found many of the tips and insights from Mother-Daughter Duet worth storing in the back of mind, preparing for the day my daughters’ set sail.

Mother-Daughter Duet also has me thinking about my relationship with my mother, things I could have done better as a daughter, and things that she did so well, that I should emulate with my own daughters.

If you have a struggling relationship with your mom and would like to set it on a healthier path, you will find Mother-Daughter Duet thought provoking. And if you have daughters who are nearing adulthood or are adults, this is definitely worth reading and culling insights from.

 You can learn more about Mother-Daughter Duet on the Random House website or at your favorite bookseller.

Disclosure: This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Have you ever struggled with joy? About three years ago, I realized that I was just doing the work, going through the motions of life, doing what my father taught me – work hard, do what’s necessary without complaint, and just get it done. But I wasn’t really embracing Joy. 

It’s been a long ten years of trials ups and downs, and it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles of life, in doing what needs to be done, that it is easy to miss the opportunity for joy often masked by our focus on the work or the struggle.

If you can relate, then I recommend you check out Dancing with My Father by Sally Clarkson. I’ve been using this book for my personal daily devotional time for the last couple weeks, and it speaks directly to this struggle to find that Joy that God wants us to experience.

Through personal stories and real-life examples, Sally Clarkson shares her own journey to finding the joy, purpose, and passion that God wants us to experience in amongst our daily lives.

A story of a friend finding joy in friendship and testimony during the last days of life, reflections from relationships with friends and her daughter are all tools in Dancing with My Father to bring you closer to your heavenly father, and learn to find that joy in life, despite the daily struggles.

With 200 pages broken into 10 chapters, Dancing with My Father works great for a two week daily bible study. The stories and examples speak to the heart, especially if you have felt similar struggles. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter lend themselves well for journalling and personal bible study, or would make a great launching point for using the book for a ten-week group bible study.

I found myself jotting down notes, quotes, and thinking about that day’s chapter when I was out and about. Because of Sally Clarkson’s stories, I find myself stopping more to reflect on what is beautiful at work or on display in my life, with my kids, and with the world around me.

I still have a ways to go before I’m fully experiencing joy in my world, but reading Dancing with My Father has definitely brought more joy into my world, and given me insights into how to delve deeper in Christ and experience the joy He wants for each of us.

Dancing with My Father is headed to my reference shelf for another run through later when I need it again, and hopefully to share with my daughter when she is an adult and is ready to find the joy in what is often overwhelming day-to-day life.

You can find out more about Dancing with My Father by Sally Clarkson on the Random House website or by visiting your favorite bookseller.

Enjoy!

Disclosure: This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Q: You mentioned that you are using the McGuffey Readers. Can you tell me more about how you are using them?

A: Before I can really answer this well, let me start with how I came to using them and why. 

We started with the McGuffey Readers – the second reader actually – at the beginning of the 2008-2009 school year and are now about 3/4 the way through the second reader.  I had heard of them before but at that time wasn’t interested in using any type of reader, much less one that was over a 100 years old.

But each child is different and my investigation into using public domain materials, stemming from my research into the Robinson Curriculum and then subsequently into the Accelerated Achievement (aka A-squared) and Old Fashioned Education curriculums, was enough for me to give it a try with my 9 year old.

Right now I’m only using the McGuffey Readers with my 9 year old, though my 11 year old has asked to do readings from the 2nd reader and I’m considering having her do some reading from the 3rd  reader next year or over the summer.  

I started teaching my son to read later than most, having learned a hard lesson with my oldest.  We waited until he was asking to learn to read, until he showed that he was ready.  When he was 7 ½, we started with the “at” family and the first couple Bob Books. When he proved that he was indeed ready developmentally to learn to read, we progressed with Reading Reflex.

He went from nothing to a strong 2nd grade reading level in less than a year. And now at 9 ½, two years after he started learning to read, he is reading 4th and 5th grade reading level books with no problem at all.

BUT…since most of his personal reading and assigned reading is to his self, I wanted to know for certain that he was understanding what he was reading and not just skipping over words he didn’t know or filling in his own versions.  So, this past year, part of his reading has been to read aloud to me from the McGuffey Reader.

So, to answer the real question, how am I using the McGuffey Readers…
 
As with anything I use, I decided to just start with it and see how it works out, knowing that I could always scrap it if it wasn’t going to work. But it really surprised me.  My son likes the stories – they appeal to him and his sense of justice and right and wrong. 

Each story is only a page or two long, with new vocabulary listed at the beginning of the story. We don’t use the vocabulary section. Instead, as we run across words that he doesn’t know (like “foe”) or have changed over time (like “gay”), I ask him what he thinks they mean or clarify the meaning for him.  This actually has been a bonus, as we’ve been able to talk about different words and how they might fall in or out of fashion over the years and how language may change.

We keep the reading light. Sometimes he’ll want to re-read a story he has read before, and that’s okay as long as he reads a new story as well. Sometimes, he’ll struggle with the pacing of a story or poem, so we’ll read it once and then maybe I’ll read it to give him an idea of how the pacing should sound, but then we’ll put it away and read it again on another day.

Primarily, when he’s reading, I’m listening for:

Is he really reading the words on the page?
I try to catch when he guesses at a word, or fills a word  in based on what he thinks it is going to say. I’m also listening for when he changes words with another word with a like meaning (he has the tendency to do this when he is reading ahead silently.) (

Is he reading quickly just to get through it, or reading for the benefit of others?
I’m not tolerating reading just to read it fast and get it done.  He needs to read for the benefit of sharing the story with others, so they can enjoy while they are listening to him read it.  So we work on pacing and inflection.

We talk about using punctuation as clues for “taking a breath”, reading with inflection, enunciating, and projecting his voice. 

Are there articulation issues we need to deal with?
My son (actually both of them) needed speech therapy. And so I’m also listening for articulation errors, where he might be getting lazy and that affects the ability for the listener (me) to understand the words he is saying.  Recently, it became evident that he needed to work on the “th” sound again; and we identified it through these reading aloud sessions.

Does he understand/comprehend what he is reading?
There’s no use in reading if he doesn’t understand what he is reading. And so, periodically, especially on the poetry or sentences he struggles with, I’ll ask him what it means. And then I’ll share what I think it means. Again, this is really low key, not coming across as a test, but as a discussion of the literature and the use of words.

Could I use other readers? Probably. But the McGuffey Readers are free for download from Project Gutenberg. Or in my case, the version I’m using (1879 edition) came with my copy of the Robinson Curriculum.  We just print it out and 3 hole punch it and keep it in a binder. No big deal.  

I really like the values projected in the edition of the McGuffey readers we’re using. The stories in the 2nd reader relate to interactions between children and their parents, their friends, birds, and the natural world.  And do so in a way that promotes courage, bravery, honesty, and caring for others. There’s two stories that are my 9 year old’s favorites that I think talk to this point well:

Henry, the Bootblack
This is a  brief story about an impoverished boy, who wanted to help his mother and little sister. One day he was rewarded with his honesty with $1, which he used to buy the equipment he needed to shine boots. The story tells how he captured customer with his politeness, and how he helped his family by working during the day shining boots and went to school at night.

In course of the story we have been able to talk about how much $1 would have been at the time, what a bootblack boy was, and how even though he was helping his family, he still went to school.  The story talks about the choice the boy made, to be honest and how he was rewarded for that honesty. Values I want enforced.

The Kingbird
This is a quick little story about the Kingbird and why it is named the Kingbird. It tells of how it uses cunning and quickness to protect the nest from much larger birds.  Not only is this a science lesson, and talks about birds, which my son loves, but it also appeals to his desire to protect those he cares about and talks to the warrior within him.

At this point I’m planning to continue with the McGuffey Readers, for my 9 year old and for the others when they are ready – at least as long as I find value in using them.

If you are considering them, know that, like with all books, there are differences between editions. And I suggest reading a little about those differences to see if matters to you.  Again I’m using the 1879 version that comes with the Robinson Curriculum, but others are available.  Free versions are available online through Project Gutenberg and other public domain repositories.

If you don’t want to print out your own versions, you can also buy them used or new, they often come as a boxed set but can be purchased individually as well. Again, watch for what version it might be (if that matters to you).  Amazon.com carries a couple different sets.  HSTreasures carries the 1879 version as does Mcguffeyreaders.com and a few other sources online.

Also use the McGuffey Readers? Please share your experiences!

A friend’s son has jumped ship. At fifteen he has decided he would rather live on his own, than live by his parent’s rules. It breaks my heart. And terrifies me.  My sons (and daughters) are precious, and I love the people they are and who they are becoming. But,am I doing what I need to do to build them up, train them, and encourage them? I pray so, and pray often for guidance. My friend’s situation speaks to my heart but it also reminded me that there is a tool out there to help prevent this from happening.

A few months ago, hubby and I attended a seminar on Homeschooling the High School years. Here, the speaker shared her heart about a time in their lives when one of their sons “jumped ship”. She highly recommended reading the article series that help her and her husband to gain perspective and rebuild their relationship with their son.

The series is called Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. It’s a five part series, long but definitely worth the read. But I have also found it challenging. Sometimes realizing our mistakes and our humanity is difficult; but providing our children with the best environment to grow and mature in is essential. Here are the direct links to the article (I’m not familar with any other content on the site, but I know these articles are worth a visit.):

Jumping Ship
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

If reading it online is a challenge, the author has created a book based on the article series. I found it on Amazon for $5 new, less used. Here’s that link:
Jumping Ship: What to do so your children don’t jump ship to the world when they get older

In the meantime, please pray for my friend, her husband, and her son, that they will all grow in faith and seek God’s will and plan.