I was not happy today with how my children were treating each other. And their daddy was very unhappy over a violation of his privacy.  While the children lost computer and Netflix privileges for the breach of privacy, it was time to regroup and have a chat on how we are supposed to treat each other.

So the kids piled into the car and I headed toward Arby’s. Why?

1. The kids like going to Arby’s. It’s a special treat, saved for special occasions and important family discussions.

 

2. It’s relatively quiet, so we can hear each other.

 

3. It’s free of electronic distractions – no tv monitors or video games. We can actually use the time together to chat.

Today’s discussion was on the most important commandment: Love each other (John 15:12, 17). And, how we show love to others. Then we discussed privacy and secrets, and when to keep secrets and when it’s okay to tell secrets. Followed up by a discussion of the values printed on the kids meal bag, and what they mean:

Arby’s Values (from the Arby’s Kids Meal bag)

If you can dream it, you can do it!

Do the best you can, in all that you do.

Set high goals and make them happen!

Always treat each other with respect and fairness

Make the most of every day. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Help make life better for those around you.

Here in this fast food resturant, free of distractions of home, glowing from a special outing, the kids and I discussed these heavy topics, went through scenarios, and acted out examples of love and serving. It’s an unlikely place, but effective, for a reminder on the most important thing I can teach the kids. Afterall it doesn’t matter how well we homeschool academics if the kids’ attitude and behavior towards others is wrong.

So next time you need a good heart-to-heart talk, I highly recommend finding your local equivelent of Arby’s - a quiet place, free of distractions and full of special memories.

A friend’s son has jumped ship. At fifteen he has decided he would rather live on his own, than live by his parent’s rules. It breaks my heart. And terrifies me.  My sons (and daughters) are precious, and I love the people they are and who they are becoming. But,am I doing what I need to do to build them up, train them, and encourage them? I pray so, and pray often for guidance. My friend’s situation speaks to my heart but it also reminded me that there is a tool out there to help prevent this from happening.

A few months ago, hubby and I attended a seminar on Homeschooling the High School years. Here, the speaker shared her heart about a time in their lives when one of their sons “jumped ship”. She highly recommended reading the article series that help her and her husband to gain perspective and rebuild their relationship with their son.

The series is called Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. It’s a five part series, long but definitely worth the read. But I have also found it challenging. Sometimes realizing our mistakes and our humanity is difficult; but providing our children with the best environment to grow and mature in is essential. Here are the direct links to the article (I’m not familar with any other content on the site, but I know these articles are worth a visit.):

Jumping Ship
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

If reading it online is a challenge, the author has created a book based on the article series. I found it on Amazon for $5 new, less used. Here’s that link:
Jumping Ship: What to do so your children don’t jump ship to the world when they get older

In the meantime, please pray for my friend, her husband, and her son, that they will all grow in faith and seek God’s will and plan.