At some point in the year most of us reach that burnout point in our homeschooling adventure. Frazzled Mom went so far to call January, National Homeschool Burnout Month. This incited an interesting conversation on our local homeschool support group.
Earlier Karri Fieglein shared with us her 26 Tips for Overcoming Homeschool Burnout. Well, Lorry Nell, a homeschooling mom of 4, has also generously agreed to share her 7 tips and a little perspective to help us overcome homeschool burnout. (Thanks Lorry!!)
7 Tips for Overcoming Homeschool Mommy Burnout
By Lorry Nell
Here are a couple of things I try and do if I feel like I’m approaching homeschool mommy burnout:
1. Remember “WHY” we’re homeschooling in the first place. Make a list of reasons or write a mission statement; even telling someone who will listen to why you are homeschooling often helps!
2. Get back to the basics, take things a bit slower – it’s O. K.!
3. Have some silly fun: bake, make crafts, sing, play games, do skits, listen to your favorite tunes, have a lip syncing show, and dress up, etc.
4. Get out of your house; like that saying “Get out of the boat…” I find that being inside my house too much gets me down in the dumps, especially in the cold, wet, rainy, winter months. Try to get outside in each season; observe/participate in “creation” wherever you live!
5. Read a book that has NOTHING to do with homeschooling!
6. Make a list of all the things you HAVE accomplished since you began homeschooling and praise God for ALL that He has given you!
7. This one may seem drastic to some, but being that I’m an ex-public school educator, if I’m having an especially hard time, I have been known to visit my local public school and ask for a list of the essential elements, lunch, and daily schedule for the grade level of students in my household and am miraculously inspired to race home, hug and kiss my kids and get right back into the trenches of homeschooling my four blessings! I know, I know, I’m probably going to get razzed on this one – but it’s true!
Please remember, we are a threat to Satan’s schemes/plans.
It’s true, homeschooling is very hard.
It’s true that we are doing at least 2 full time jobs simultaneously.
It’s true, that we could have the day off, five days a week/ 9 months a year, If we put our kids in school.
It’s true, we could have the whole day to ourselves to do WHATEVER we wanted: grocery shop, hair cuts, shopping, sleeping (who gets enough of this?).
What we do each day is our own humble attempt to teach our children that HIStory is far better that any other author’s… This is about the Lord’s unfolding plan; not mine. Some days I think, come on Lorry, you’re suppose to know this stuff like the back of your hand, but I often am faced w ith situations that I just don’t see coming.
EVERY year, what worked the past year doesn’t usually work for the next. As the dynamics of our family changes, so do our needs. I went from homeschooling in one room upstairs, to schooling in different parts of our home. And that’s O. K. Do what your comfortable with – my children respond well when they know that I like what/where/how I’m doing whatever it is that we’re doing.
Each of us are working on beautiful tapestries called our families. And if you humble yourself and seek Him each new day, do your very best, that’s all any of us can do!
If none of the above mentioned lifts your spirit or puts a smile on your face, call me and I’ll have you come over to my home for tea/conversation and you are welcome to have a first hand glance at my humble attempt in the schooling of our 4 kiddos! When you realize we’re all more or less in the same boat, you will be feeling fine in NO time!
I called my friend today to check in on her, make sure she was okay. And it turned out she just was completely overwhelmed. I’ve been there, said the exact same words. So, I told her to cry. It’s okay to let loose of the emotion. God gave us that mechanism for a physical release. My friend’s been going through a LOT of challenges lately and a lot of change. It’s not easy. But she doesn’t have to be strong all the time.
While we know that God won’t give us more than we can handle, sometimes we just need to let loose of the emotion, figuratively get down on our knees, and be real in our emotion. Then we can pick ourselves back up and, with God’s help, and that of our friends, keep on going. But sometimes we just need to let go first.
I’m pretty private in my emotions. But sometimes I just need to let it out. I use a journal book and prayer, but sometimes even I just need to lock myself in a quiet space and cry. Yeah, I’ll end up with a headache, but the next day I’m usually better focused, have a better perspective, and can move forward again. I think that as women we sometimes expect too much from ourselves. I know that my husband needs his down time, but for whatever reason it’s difficult for me to allow myself, or give myself that downtime.
If you are in a difficult spot right now, give yourself permission to take some time, to let out that repressed emotion, so that you can be refilled.
And in case it helps, here’s a free audio from Cindy Rushton that may encourage you.
Oops! My Cup is Empty and My Coffee Pot is Broke!
Audio Workshop Download With Cindy Rushton
Tired? Weary? Find yourself overwhelmed by the tremendous load of motherhood? Do you consider this one of the most demanding, yet rewarding roles you will ever fill yet that send shivers down your spine?
Join Cindy as she exhorts you in your high calling. This workshop shares Cindy’s heart as she shares about those good days and bad days, sweet memories and rather bitter moments that have made life so precious all along the way.
Taking you on a journey back in Scripture to meet Hannah, Cindy shares God’s answers to her heart cry during times she has found her OWN cup empty while everything continued to hit all at once!
The biblical insights are sure to draw YOUR heart to your Heavenly Father AND to those you are pouring into. Join us as Cindy ministers encouragement and direction straight from the Word of God to your heart, soul, and mind!
(Listen to through your browser or download to your computer and listen via your MP3 player)
If this recording uplifted you, I recommend checking out Cindy’s Ultimate Women’s Expo (UWE). Over 20 speakers are sharing their hearts and experience in a way designed to uplift and encourage you. Cindy’s built a private, exclusive Membership Site that includes everything from the UWE in one place – all the audios (from all of the sessions and from the bonus gifts from her speakers), ebooks, articles, printable planning pages, cookbooks, on and on. Everything is online indefinitely.
Anyway, if you need your cup refilled, it’s worth checking out. Access to the event and the membership site is only $19.95. Click here for more info.
Whether you listen to the chat from Cindy or not, know that you are not alone and things always work out. Maybe not the way that we expect them to and sometimes in very strange ways, but they always do work out.
Earlier I shared how I have to have at least one day (preferably two) at home during the week. Nothing gets scheduled on those days, unless I have absolutely no other choice. This is a sanity thing. There are just too many worthwhile activites that pull at our attention, but it all sucks time and more importantly, energy.
A few years ago, when I first decided that we just had to have days at home with no outside obligations, I kept accidentally over-scheduling. With 4 homeschooled kids, a business, and numerous pets, it’s very easy to do. I had to come up with a better way.
Now, a few times a year, when it’s time to plan for the next school year or term, or sign up for activities, I use a weekly schedule spreadsheet like this to help me SEE where our time commitments are.
In Excel, I’ve created a weekly schedule spreadsheet (which you can download below), that I use as a template. Using color coding (one color per child, plus grey for drive time and whole family activities) I can very easily see where our time is commited. My goal is to create at least one to two days during school week (Monday-Friday) with NOTHING in it.
To start, I put in all the activities the kids and I wanted to do that term, then seeing the conflicts, I start whittling away (talking to the kids about it as I have to cut things.) Sometimes, if an activity (like Ballet) has an alternate time slot I’ll insert it on the calendar like this: (see the pink slots for Ballet)
That allows me to take a closer look at really what is possible. My goal is to create activity days, where if I’m going to consume energy running about, let’s just make it that type of day and if we can schedule whatever activities we can into it.
But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. For example, my nearly 7 year old’s speech therapy is offered through the public school system, and they only offer it to homeschoolers at one time during the week. That’s just the way it is. So we work around that.
I’m also looking for conflicts – where schedules overlap. I can’t be in two place at once and I refuse to run around with my head chopped off trying to get one child to one place and another child to another place. It’s not a productive, healthy mind-set for any of us. Using the chart, I can show the kids where there’s a conflict and we can discuss possible courses of action.
For example, my sons really wanted to take fencing this year. But fencing was only offered on Monday and Friday nights. My 9 year old son had to choose – fencing or cub scouts. He chose cub scouts. But having the visual helped him see what his choices were and how he wanted to spend his time.
Once I’ve figured out what the activity schedule is, I note each day as to whether it’s a Full schoolwork day or a Light schoolwork day. And then in the bottom part of my spreadsheet, I mark what subjects will be covered (in an ideal world) on each of those days.
Obviously I’m looking for balance and reasonable work load. It’s not fair to the kids to ask them to do 3 hours of book work on a day where we are only home for 30 minutes. Those are light schoolwork days – which for us means they must read something, write something, and do some sort of math. Most of the time that’s all done through act of being out and about and in the car.
This system has been great for saving my sanity and keeping the HOME in our homeschool.
If you are interested in trying this out for yourself, feel free to download and use the forms that I use. I’ve included a sample for you to get a better look at what this looks like.
Download the Excel file with both the template and the sample (two worksheet tabs in the workbook)
Note: You need a PDF reader to use the PDF file. You can get one free here. To use the Excel file, you’ll need Microsoft Excel, OpenOffice, or will need to upload the file into a web-based spreadsheet tool like Google Docs in order to work with it fully.
Sometimes I have to FIGHT to keep the home in homeschooling. I have to plan and preciously guard that home time.
If you’ve homeschooled for more than 6 months, you may understand what I’m talking about here. If you don’t homeschool, this is is the biggest fallacy about homeschooling… Homeschoolers don’t spend all their time at home!
In fact, there are so many opportunities that pull at our attention and time. In our house, just this year, we have speech therapy, cub scouts, sports, violin lessons, orchestra, tween girls, preschool group, art lessons, and Latin. And that doesn’t count all the errands, field trips, and everything we have to turn down that we might really want to do, but I have to say No to preserve my sanity.
I realized a few years ago that I must have at least one, preferably two days where we just don’t go anywhere, where we have no outside commitments. I adore summer months where we school, but don’t have activities…oh those days are great, because we get to stay home. There’s no drain from going from here to there.
But I digress… the point is sometimes, we just have to scheduleour days at home. And guard them. A few years ago, I came up with this system of making sure when I’m planning out the kids’ activities schedule that at least one day a week is at home, with no commitments. When you have a few minutes, check out part 2 for the details and free downloadable tools and samples
Ever have that need to just re-charge? I do. This last weekend I was really sad, over a variety of things. But on Sunday I was totally recharged by getting together with a new friend over coffee. Just two homeschooling moms, out having coffee, chatting, and laughing together. Boy it was a lot of fun, and very refreshing. I needed it.
If you ever have those moments(I can’t be the only one…), here’s a great list of ideas of how to recharge from Cindy Rushton. I first “found” Cindy in 2006, while researching lapbooking. She’s a work-at-home, homeschooling mom who has very generously shared her heart and experience with fellow homeschoolers for quite some time.
I’ve been blessed by what I’ve read and listened to from Cindy. If this is the first time you’ve heard from Cindy, I recommend reading her websites and listening to her audio programs and online expos. There is gold in what she shares.
50+ Ideas for Taking Care of Mom!
By Cindy Rushton
Tired? Weary? Need some fresh ideas for taking care of mom? Feeling that push and pull on you as you balance all of the many demands in your life? Are you great about taking care of others, yet not quite so good about taking care of YOU? Has it been a long, long time since you have done the little things to just fill your cup back up? How about a few fresh ideas for filling your cup and ministering to your heart! I promise that these will be easy for you to do! Here goes:
Grab Your iPod and go for a long, long walk! I LOVE my iPod. I have it filled with great Praise and Worship music, teachings and workshops, podcasts, tutorials, etc. My iPod has become my .pocket pal. when I work on my chores, take care of business duties, or even get out for my walk. Talk about my best investment of 2006!
Laugh! Just sit there right now…laugh! Start small…just a little giggle! Then…laugh about laughing! Roll on the floor laughing! Feel better?
Begin a new Bible Study. Either find a Bible Study guide…or dig out Words to study on your own! For Word Studies, I LOVE my Strong.s Concordance. It helps to find all of the references of a certain word of interest. I also love my Vine.s Dictionary. I use it to look up the meanings of the words AND it also has other references for uses in Scripture. Another great help for Word Studies is my good old faithful Webster.s 1828 Dictionary. I LOVE it as a reference to deepen the studies. Usually it helps me to also find OTHER great studies to dig into also! Dig into the Word! It will feed your heart and soul during this tough time!
Meet a friend at the park and let the kids play while you visit.
Go for a drive around the city.look at the lights! Look at flowers. Look at the seasonal changes.
Look at photo albums. Remember the silly stories!
Watch the sunrise! Or, not an early bird? Watch the sunset!
Collect jokes and funnies! Barb Johnson…Chonda Pierce…Becky Freeman are just a few of my PERSONAL favorites! Get one of their books or videos. Then, snag some mom-time to just kick back and enjoy!
Chocolate! Chocolate Candy…Chocolate Bars…Chocolate Shakes…Chocolate Latte.s…CHOCOLATE! REALLY! Chocolate helps to release endorphins in the brain.plus! It tastes great to boot! So, why not grab a bit for mom-time!
Watch an old movie! Curl up under a great big quilt.even if you have to turn the air down COLD! Don’t forget to turn down the lights and turn off the phone!
Look at your old school albums! Your HAIR! Ha! Enough said.
Got a grassy hill nearby? Go to the top and just roll down it! Like a child! (Snowy? Get a sled! And SLIDE!)
Take the kids to the park – just WATCH them! They are adorable!
Begin a Quote Book. Collect quotes that encourage you to keep on, keeping on! Keep them in a special journal dedicated only to keeping your special quotes.
Memorize your favorite Psalm. Try out Psalm 91…or Psalm 61…or Psalm 35…or Psalm 37…Oh! Enjoy!
Begin a Tea Ministry. Doing for others ALWAYS lifts even the heaviest spirit. Get a tea basket to keep your goodies in…visit a shut-in…bless them. Then! Watch the blessing boomerang! You won.t be able to leave without a blessing.
Take the kids to a candy store – sample the Jelly Bellies…or Sweet Tarts…or Sour Gummy Worms.
Fly a kite!
Take a ride in the country. Turn up your praise music…roll the windows down…sing to the top of your lungs!
Watch a funny video! Elisabeth and I LOVE to watch old movies like If a Man Answers. It is one of our chick flicks that we always watch together. We love it! SO FUNNY! Chonda Pierce is another one of my picks. She is just totally hilarious. My children LOVE old comedy shows like I Love Lucy or The Three Stooges. Oh, you may want to watch anything! Just find something that will make you laugh hard!
Scrapbook! Pick photos that you MUST tell the story behind! Kick up your favorite music…spread out your goodies…and Scrap till you drop!
Read a biography of a GIANT in the faith! My favorites are Corrie ten Boom…Hudson Taylor…George Mueller…Amy Carmichael…Jim and Elisabeth Elliott…etc!
Get today’s newspaper and read the comics!
Get a yo-yo! PLAY!
Make Chocolate Chip Cookies with the kids! On a diet? Take them to someone who blesses you! Include a note of thanks and encouragement for all they do to bless you!
Go out and sit on your boat.watch the stars! (Oh, watch the sunset or sunrise, if you can too!)
Dig into the Bible and study what God says about trials…suffering…faith…death…depression…oppression…warfare…battle.
Read a new book! Normally ready non-fiction/how-to.s? Get a fiction book for a change! Normally read fiction? Get a humorous book! Renew your weary heart and mind!
Take a break and go for a long ride on a motorcycle! Don’t forget your headset and praise music!
Take a hike! Really! Find a nice nature trail OR go for the tough stuff!!
Go to the mall with your teenager! ENJOY!
Buy a Mp3 Player and some great praise music.turn it up! I LOVE my iPod! I have my iPod loaded with all of my favorite CDs. My favorites are Michael W. Smith’s Worship CD.s AND Hillsong’s Praise and Worship! The moment you enter into worship, you will enter into the very presence of God.so, turn it up and devour the presence of our precious Lord!
Pull out that old sewing machine and make some of those goodies that you have been wanting.new purse/tote…outfit…home decorations…doll clothes…etc!
Buy a .whoopee. Cushion…or .Bubba. teeth… At least your family will laugh!
Write out the funny family stories! Reminisce! Enjoy!
Go skating!
Try an afternoon of Laser-Tag with your teens! Get um!
Make Homemade Bread – KNEAD yourself!
Plan a regular Mommy Getaway. This is not an extra! It is essential! I plan getaways for different purposes: to just get alone with God to hear Him, to plan, to work on my homeschool and business projects, to just fill my cup back up. Decide what will fill you up. What do you need right now? Decide what will help meet that need. Gather your goodies: Bible, journal, iPod, camera (I love taking pictures of little treasures along the way), your planner, your computer/Idea Notebook, etc. Pull aside and take that time to just get-away and fill your cup back up!
Get a pet! My bird, Harley, has ministered to my heart MORE than I could remember! He is just SO funny! HE had the idea to .boogie. for Jesus! I had not danced for years! AND it is decent! Elisabeth.s new puppy, Pooh, is a TOTAL delight! I say all the time that she is JOY in fur! She has become my little buddy. She loves to sit with me while I work and follow me around while I am doing my chores. She keeps me in stitches. Struggling? Get a pet just for YOU…see that puppy in the window??
Take the day to go for a flight! Look at the whole world from a different perspective!
Dance! Turn up your favorite music and dance! Dance your heaviness away! Dance till you laugh! Dance in worship to the Lord! Jump! Lift your hands in praise and worship!
Clean out your house (only if this is NOT your struggle! Ha!). Attack those closets…cabinets…dusty bookshelves…paper piles!
Go out for a cup of coffee…tea…or a good old Coca-Cola! Meet your sweetheart or a mommy pal! Or…take your Bible and make it a special time with the Lord!
Find some silly-putty or slime.PLAY!
Get up earlier (or take regular breaks throughout the day!) for your quiet time! You may feel SO weak that you can barely concentrate.if so, just turn on praise music and lift up your arms in praise and adoration. Watch what happens! Make a list of your heartaches.lift them to the Father (then, hide them in your Prayer Journal.later they will be a praise record!). Dig into the Word for comfort…perspective…and hope for tomorrow! Really tough days? Well, when the Israelites had very HOT days, they had to gather MORE manna.in the heat of your battles and toughest trials gather a surplus! It will help you survive your struggle.
Make a quilt. You can EVEN cheat by making it on the sewing machine! ENJOY!
Take an afternoon to go to the movies. Get a big bucket of popcorn…a super-HUGE Coke…sour Gummy Worms (unless you are due a BIG DOSE OF CHOCOLATE!). Take your sweetheart…or a friend if you want to share! Pick a movie that will make you laugh like crazy…OR CRY your eyes out! ENJOY!
Ride three-wheelers! Get MUDDY!
Treat yourself to a leisurely afternoon (or a bunch of afternoons!) at the pool…park…or creek.
Try your hand at BOWLING. Take some friends!
Take time for tea each day.
Exercise. Swim…walk…jog…hike…go skating…aerobics. Relieves stress AND boosts your health to boot.
Learn a new hobby! What have you been putting off that you have ALWAYS wanted to know? Pottery? Quilting? Flight Training? Smocking? Scrapbooking? Jewelry Making? Sewing? Crochet? Horse-back riding? Go for it! Now is the PERFECT time.
Treat yourself to a nice looooonnnnnngggg Bubble Bath! Don.t forget to set up your favorite music to play during your Bubble Bath. Also…be sure to fix a nice cup of tea (or a Latte!) or a nice big Coke that will last till the water gets cold! ENJOY!
Go to the park and just swing.HIGH!
Go get an ice-cream cone.with a double dip!
Do a Promise hunt in Scripture. Keep in a Promise Notebook. of your very own! KNOW that they are yours.
Snuggle up for the afternoon to read a great book!
Got some fresh ideas? Don.t let this limit you! Let your brain GO! Find some things that will fill you back up and take care of you all along the way.
This is not an extra. This is an essential. Carve out time on your calendar today to just take care of mom!
Need MORE Help?
How about the ULTIMATE mom-time? Yep! Check out our Ultimate Women’s Expo! We are recording sessions live right now! They are CERTAIN to fill your cup to overflowing! Grab your ticket today.
(Shannon’s note: If you do decide to check out Cindy’s Ultimate Women’s Expo, note that she’s doing preview chats now, that are free, which will give you a taste of what to expect. Also, Cindy usually makes all the audio available for download later (for ticket holders), so sometimes I’ll buy a ticket to her events, even though I can’t “attend” live, just so I can download them later and listen to the audio on my iPod while the kids play at the park … I’ve not been disappointed yet.)
… I’ve not been disappointed yet.)
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