A recent conversation with my 10 yo son and my husband has me thinking more about this balance of being a working, homeschooling mom. There are times when I feel overwhelmed, when there’s just so much to do and I don’t always get it all done. So I make choices.
But life is about choices.
Somehow the conversation we were having led us to the topic that I could make a lot more money if I worked outside the home. My hubby pointed out to my son that I could make more than he does, BUT we’ve made the CHOICE that it was more important for me to work from home and be there for the kids.
It’s a choice, and each day I have to choose between the work and the kids. And sometimes that’s not easy.
I don’t always get to homeschool the way I’d like to or the way the kids were prefer (they are back to begging for lapbooks again). But I am there for the discoveries, the cuts and bruises, for the hugs, and miscellaneous questions and stray thoughts right when they are thinking of them. I can’t possibly replace that or ever regret that.
And, as I have made the choice to return to working outside the home once before – for a 2 year stint when my older children were 4 and 2 - I know what the consequences are – both to me and to our family. And frankly for ME, the price is too high.
And while, I know that not every one can make that choice, nor should they, I am thankful that I can make the choice and that I did. I may not be the “perfect” stay-at-home mom, and my house is rarely “visitor” level clean, but I’m there. And that’s what’s important to me.
God’s provision is so very amazing, it takes my breath away. We’ve weathered several very rough storms and come out on the other end better for it; to the point now that I just know that everything is going to work out. And yet, I remember the terror and the worry and the burden I have felt. Even now as I am going through another season where joy is a challenge, I know of God’s provision and His amazing Love and generosity.
Over time I’ve built my own “self-talk”, if you will, based on various verses. Some have become mantras, which I play in my head to counter act the negative that seeps in. If you are facing difficult times, especially difficult financial times, I pray that through all you are going through you will find your own “knowing” and peace. Like with his request to Abraham to sacrifice his son (gen 22), He can ask us to do some very difficult things, make sacrifices that we wouldn’t ordinarily want to make; but it always seems to work out. Below are a selection of the verses that help me; hopefully some here will help you as well.
…Shannon
For Hope and Strength:
Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6 – For all you need is faith of a mustard seed – Believe it will work out!
2nd Corinthians 3:4-5 – our competence comes from God
Philippians 4:4-6 – don’t worry, God has it under control
Philippians 4:13 – All things are possible through HIM
2 Timothy 1:7
Isaiah 40:27-31
Joshua 1:9 – be strong…the Lord is with you…
To Soothe the soul when it all feels overwhelming:
John 14:27
Psalm 5:7-8
Psalm 91:2
Isaiah 41:10
On God’s Provision:
Matthew 6:25-34 (God’s instructions re: worry & provision)
“Okay. I’m glad you read today. Did you do any other schoolwork?”
“No. Dad gave us the day off.”
“Okay. As long as Dad said you could have the day off.”
I wasn’t surprised. Here I was gone for the week, and the kids managed to do about 1 ½ days of the schoolwork I assigned them. But, that’s part of having a week with daddy.
I rarely leave my kids for more than a couple hours, much less overnight; but for the last two years, I’ve gone off for a week-long business trip, leaving the kids home with their dad. I have no worries about doing so, as he is a very capable person. But there’s no doubt that we do things differently.
At my husband’s request, I leave a schedule of activities and maps/directions so he knows who to get where, when. On the refrigerator I post a list of breakfast, snack, and dinner ideas for the week. And I leave the basic chore assignments and schoolwork assignments for the week.
My husband said he might take the kids fishing and to the zoo. Cool, The kids would like that. So I reminded him that those two activities have value as schoolwork, so on those days, just cut out or cut down the school assignments I had listed.
When I arrived home a week later the lawn was up to my knees, and I had to work hard not to say anything more than “Oh My.” But inside and out back, I had other surprises.
The kids may not have folded laundry, cleaned their rooms, or finished all their schoolwork. But instead, they expanded my new drip system in the garden, laid a new wood floor in the bathroom, and put together a bunk bed.
Wow. It’s not what I assigned, but in my eyes, these activities were just as worthy as school activities. And they got to learn at the hands of their father. Very valuable.
The schoolwork can be done anytime. But that father-child work time cannot. For now, I’ll just be quiet about what wasn’t done and be very appreciative for all they accomplished.
A few years ago, when we were living in northern California, I was invited to a Titus 2 group by a friend. The woman who led and hosted the group, Lisa Vitello, had reached out to the local moms in the community to live out the spirit of Titus 2:3-5. Meeting every 6-8 weeks, she and others taught us practical homemaking and homesteading skills, while we discussed being a Christian woman, wife and mother.
While I was fortunate enough to have learned baking bread, canning and gardening from my grandparents, many others in the group weren’t and there wer skills I needed to learn. It was through Lisa and the Titus 2 group that I learned how to make soup, hanging out laundry on a line, and many, many other things.
When we moved, I found that I really missed the Titus 2 mentorship and fellowship. Growing up and being trained to be an independent person, I was not taught or prepared for many of the most important things that come with keeping a home and being a wife. The Titus 2 meetings had been a good place to have fellowship with women who were struggling in the same areas I was or who had already been there and were willing to share what they had learned and what worked.
A few years ago Lisa started her newsletter, New Harvest Homestead, which reaches out the Titus 2 mentorship to others. And for that I am thankful. But I still missed the fellowship.
After talking with a few people here in Texas, I discovered others who were interested in having a similar type of Titus 2 group locally. We started the group a year ago, and meet every 2 months or so. Each meeting has a different topic and we share with each other our experiences and have fellowship. Even though I am usually swamped with other things to do, I find that having that little bit of Titus 2 mentorship and fellowship helps me focus on what’s truly important and helps me grow as a person.
If you have access to a Titus 2 group locally, I recommend trying it out. Lisa’s New Harvest Homestead newsletter is also great. If you are interested in coordinating a group in your own area, I highly recommend doing so. It was very easy to start here (you maybe surprised how many women are interested in this type f group. After talking to a few people, I simply sent an email out to my local homeschool support group and went from there.) Lisa has a free guide on how to start a Titus 2 group available too. I used it as a blueprint to structure ours.
Titus 2:3-5 (NLT)
Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
Titus 2:3-5 (The Message)
Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.
Some years, I know exactly what we are doing for Christmas two months in advance, and some years, like this one, I wait until the last minute. Actually, this year I’m sort of in between. I picked out what I was making for gifts back in November; I just haven’t made them yet. I made arrangements for my 9 year old’s gift back in November as well. But, I’m little off schedule for a gift for my nearly 5 year old, and my other two children.
Christmas is only two weeks away. In reality I have 13 days to get my act together. Food wise, I know what I”m doing. At Thanksgiving, I typed up a Holiday menu and grocery list, so that just gets re-used. But I’m feeling the stress today over the gifts for three of my four children. Therefore, it’s time to sit down and write up a plan: Who, What or Budget, and Timing.
And it’s time to pull out the sewing machine and get busy!
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