Yep, my baby girl is now 13!  It’s an amazing thing to see this beautiful girl turn into a responsible young woman. I’m so proud of who she is and can’t wait to see who she develops into.  And I’m honored that she chose to spend her entire birthday hanging out with me!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Thirteen is a big milestone, a bridge between being a girl and being a young woman. Another layer of responsbility and rights of passage are important, as is some just plain old fun!  She put together this entire agenda of what she wanted to do, and that’s what we did.

We started our day at the bank, where she was going to break her $100 bill (from her grandma) into 20s, but we surprised with her a visit with a personal banker to open a teen bank account, and of course money to seed it with.  

Then we headed over to Fuddruckers for lunch and got goofy with a yo-yo and some little fun bouncy thing.

and then off to getting her ears peirced and of course picking out several pairs of earrings to start her collection.

and then off to a local bookstore to rummage the stacks. Took us a while to get out of there.

Then shopping for ice cream, toppings, and cupcakes, and home again to share it all with the rest of the family.

It was a beautifully fun day, hanging out with my girl. I don’t know what the next five years will bring, but I couldn’t be luckier mom than to have this beautiful girl as my daughter.

Today, I wanted to share with you a lesson I’ve learned about getting out my kids’ way and allowing them to be creative and follow their imaginations. As you will see, my yard is a mess according to adult standards, but to my kids, it’s a bounty of creativity.

I cannot even begin to count the lessons they have learned while playing out there, and the lessons I have learned about what goes on in my kids’ minds, about their abilities & interests, and about who they are.

What do you think? Where’s that line between giving them the freedom to be creative and engage in imaginative play and keeping things neat and orderly?

…Shannon

P.S. Not even an hour after I shot this video, the other kids came out and built on what my duaghter created. Now there’s wooden bridge all the way across the pond, brick sides to the corral, and an obstacle course. Who knows what it will look like tomorrow

Complacency – it’s a dangerous thing. And I’m afraid that in my homeschooling my tendency to give the kids room to explore their interests, I may have been a little too lenient with certain children. Or maybe, it’s just that there’s a perpetual battle to over come our natural desires to do as little work as possible.

But something I know is that amazing things are possible, when we dig deep, rely on strength that comes deep within, from our faith, from our inner most reserves. Over time I’ve had to dig that deep to get through, and I’m sure it will be required again. But the question I ask myself is how to do I teach my kids this.

Well, this week, while doing the Fat Loss Quickie program, I ran into this clip from Facing the Giants, and today required my 10 and 12 year olds to watch it with me.

It’s a powerful statement on what happens when we really dig deep, and don’t let the negative self talk or our desire to do the easy or give up over take us. And it’s a powerful statement on the power of role models and leadership.

If you have tweens and teens, I encourage you to share this with them. And if not, take a few minutes to watch it yourself. It may inspire you through a challenge in the future.

 

P.S. For those of you who aren’t American football fans, the in zone was a 100 yards.

 You may remember homeschooling mom Karri Fieglein from her 26 Tips for Overcoming Homeschool Burnout guest post. When Karri shares her insights I’m always amazed at what I learn. Today, Karri has agreed to allow me to share with you her latest encouragement and insight.  Enjoy! …Shannon  P.S. (Thanks Karri!)

We’re Not Alone

By  Karri Fieglein

We are more like doctors as home school parents than most would usually think. Each day we are called to diagnose the problems and figure out a solution and then offer preventative care as well so we do not have to deal with the situation/ behavior/ heart issue again.  We often have to do this many times a day and with each child plus the variables are constantly changing. 

Parenting in itself is so hard but then add all the home school work and being with them so much and it makes it even more difficult. I doubt anyone has ever looked at any of us and said “Wow, you have life so easy with this added task that you have decided to take.” 

The beauty in that is that nothing worth having ever comes easy. Twenty years from now when we are further down the road we’ll all look back with wonder and how we pulled through it all and made it. We’ll see how great our kids are doing and be happy we made the choice to take the hard less traveled road. 

But ya, the here and now aren’t always so easy and sometimes I think all of us feel like we are ready for a break or to even throw in the towel completely.  Hopefully just being reminded that we aren’t alone in our pursuits helps.

As homeschool parents, we have to diagnose problems that  can constantly change even with the same patient, including:

 1.       Bad attitude

2.       Tired

3.       Lazy

4.       Lack of drive and desire

5.       Comprehension problem

6.       Content of the work is too difficult

7.       Work too easy

8.       Trying to get attention

9.       Feeling sad or upset by a situation

10.   Feeling mad at the parent for some reason

11.   Lack of positive role model

12.   Have been exposed to bad role model

13.   Want to play games and goof off

14.   No incentives

15.   Think it’s not fair

16.   Feel over burdened

17.   Feel bored

18.   Frustration with the same day to day schedule and routine

19.   Too busy arguing with siblings

20.   Not enough time with the Lord

And the list goes on

Often too we have the many of the same issues and often we have some of the following in addition to that:

 1.       We compare with others

2.       We sign up for too many things

3.       We set ourselves up for failure as we try to do too much

4.       We don’t say no

5.       We don’t set up enough limitations for the family

6.       We don’t cut ourselves or our kids enough slack (lack of grace)

7.       We don’t say we love them enough

8.       We feel like failures if we think our kid should be somewhere in their education that they aren’t

9.       We rush around trying to be everything to everyone and forget ourselves and become burned out

10.   We don’t have enough fun

11.   We forget to enjoy the journey

12.   We forget that homeschooling is a marathon, not a quick little sprint

13.   Lack of patience

14.   Unrealistic expectations

And the list goes on.

There is hope though. 

All of these can be taken care of easily if we just get out of the way and let God do his work and trust him to not only meet our kids needs but ours too.  If we will ask him where we need help and what we should do each and every day, he’ll show us. 

Oh I need to read this as much as I write it.  But I know it’s true. God has shown me over and over that if we take all the little things to him he will be faithful to help us. Nothing is too big or small to seek him on.

A couple weeks ago I felt like I wanted more help from the hubby, accountability for the kids, the schedule needed to be tweaked, and it all felt a bit over whelming with #6’s new arrival.  God gave me inspiration, great book recommendations from friends, support and encouragement and some neat ideas to help with things.  All I did was ask and he provided abundantly. 

Now don’t get me wrong we have new problems this morning and we’ll have new ones tomorrow too I’m sure. But I know that the reason for all of this is so that I can lean and depend on God and so that he can have a very real and true relationship with me and mine.

I think that sometimes we get over whelmed by the kid or the situation or whatever and we forget in the moment just how big of a God we serve and how much he loves our kids even more than we do. 

If we trust him completely with them then that means we have to let go and hold an open hand.  We used to attend Second Baptist and Dr. Young always said that unless you open your tight fist and grip on things you can’t receive the blessing either.
Today, as I write this, I am reminding myself what a great and awesome God we serve and how I need to loosen my grip on his children and my control over my life, because really it shouldn’t be my will but it should be his will; it shouldn’t be my plans but it should be his plans; it shouldn’t be my day, but it should be his day.

Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Blessing to you my friends

Much Love

-Karri

Karri Fieglein is a homeschooling mom of six  and the Foundations Director of Katy, TX for Classical Conversations, a Classical Christian Community. For more information on Classical Conversations, visit www.ClassicalConversations.com

Halloween presents an interesting dilemma for us as a Christian family. Here in the U.S., as soon as the school supply sales are over, the stores pull out the Halloween paraphernalia – decorations, costumes, pumpkins, and of course, candy. It’s impossible to simply ignore it. We’ve tried, didn’t work.

When our oldest was small, we made the decision to ignore Halloween. And that worked for a while, but when our daughter was three she took matters into her own hands – digging into her dress up box and pulling pieces to together, so she could have a costume like all the other kids. After all, dressing up and imaginative play was something we encouraged; and she wanted to join in. 

So we re-evaluated. How do we honor what the bible says about avoiding witchcraft and the occult and still allow our children to find their place in this classic American cultural event? While Halloween has it’s roots as a Celtic festival, we Americans have over time adopted it as our own and woven it into our culture.

As a family, we’ve chosen to emphasize the more wholesome parts of Halloween, forbid the gruesome and occult references, and use the time to build our ties as a family and with friends. And use the time to discuss our beliefs in the context of the culture. 

Now that it is October, my world is full of kids thinking of Halloween and how they can participate in the holiday without violating the rules. For my daughters it means designing and sewing costumes. For my sons, it’s a time to balance what they are attracted to (the scary) with what we allow.

And for my husband and I, it’s a time to discuss with the kids more about what Halloween is about and help the kids come to their own conclusions and beliefs. For we believe, its important for the kids to “own” their beliefs, to come to their own conclusions, based on not just what we believe but also their own research and their own convictions.

Over the next few weeks, I may share more about how we, as a Christian family, are preparing for and studying Halloween this year. Please feel free to share in the comments your own ideas on how you’ve dealt with the Halloween dilemma in your own family.

…Shannon

Other Halloween-related Articles

• Homemade Halloween Costumes – A Learning Experience
• Fun, Kid-Friendly Recipes for Halloween or Fall (Review)
• Learning to Write A Scary Story with CTT Halloween (Review)
• Gifts Kids Can Make: Candy Wreath from Halloween Candy