It’s So Easy to Compare Your Child to Others, Until…

I can’t be the only parent who has done it. You know, compared my child to another.

When K was 3, she decided she’d learn to tie her own shoes, so she spent a month stealing every shoe lace she could find out of shoes and tying them to whatever she could find – chairs, door knobs, you name it.

Greg wasn’t thrilled that every time he went to put his shoes on, he had to hunt down the shoe laces. But in a month, she know how to tie her shoes, and it was over.

And when K was 6, playing on a soccer team, I remember being increduous that the coach’s little girl had to have her daddy tie her shoes for her. Afterall, K had being doing it for years.

And then, came my other three children. None of them learned to tie shoes before they were 6. In fact J was 8 or 9 when he learned. And Z, at almost 9, is just now learning.

Does that make K better than them? No.

It’s so easy to compare what our children can do or can’t do, and forget that all children are given gifts and abilities, and development rates are different.

I look at Z, who is amazingly talented in some areas, and struggles so deeply in others and know there is no way to compare who he is and where he is at with  other children.  It wouldn’t be fair – nor an accurate measurement of who he is.

And the same with all four of them, including Little E, who at 6 was reading better than any of the other children were at that age.

Each and every child is different. And it’s natural I think that we want to think that our child is special, because they are.

But it’s dangerous to start comparing them to each other and to others.

God has given us all, including our children, our own unique talents and gifts. Thank goodness. Because this would be a very boring world if we were all the same. :)

More food for thought.


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2 Responses to It’s So Easy to Compare Your Child to Others, Until…

  1. Sarah says:

    This is a such good reminder that all kids aren’t created equally. My sons are younger than your kids, but I’ve been struggling with this since my third son has hit a lot of his milestones (sitting, crawling) months later than his brothers did. There’s nothing wrong, he’s just learning in his own time, and I love him for that.

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