A friend’s son has jumped ship. At fifteen he has decided he would rather live on his own, than live by his parent’s rules. It breaks my heart. And terrifies me. My sons (and daughters) are precious, and I love the people they are and who they are becoming. But,am I doing what I need to do to build them up, train them, and encourage them? I pray so, and pray often for guidance. My friend’s situation speaks to my heart but it also reminded me that there is a tool out there to help prevent this from happening.
A few months ago, hubby and I attended a seminar on Homeschooling the High School years. Here, the speaker shared her heart about a time in their lives when one of their sons “jumped ship”. She highly recommended reading the article series that help her and her husband to gain perspective and rebuild their relationship with their son.
The series is called Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. It’s a five part series, long but definitely worth the read. But I have also found it challenging. Sometimes realizing our mistakes and our humanity is difficult; but providing our children with the best environment to grow and mature in is essential. Here are the direct links to the article (I’m not familar with any other content on the site, but I know these articles are worth a visit.):
Last night a friend and I were discussing websites, blogs, and business plans and little things that we were stumbling over. She shared that one of the things holding her back from launching her new website/blog was deciding on where to host it. I could totally relate, because that’s something that’s held me up on expanding my internet business plans for several years. Finally, last year I hit on a combination that I really like.
The first time, a few years ago, when I ventured out into the blogging community, I started on Blogger. In fact those blogs are still out there, even though I haven’t updated them in two years, and maybe one day I’ll port them over. I liked Blogger, and really liked how easy it was to use Picasa to post photos. But I wasn’t fond of the fact that Blogger determined if my blogs stayed or not and I really wanted more control over the blogs. I know several who are very happy with Blogger, but I decided I wanted to self-host my blogs.
By that time I had done enough research and decided on using Wordpress as my blog engine. I love the ease of using Wordpress and the number of tools, plugins, templates, and tutorials out there to help me. But hosting was a bit of an issue.
For my domain names I use Directnic.com, purely based on a recommendation from my techie brother. And I’ve stayed with them for all but two of my domian names. I like having the separation between host and domain registar. It gives me a comfort for some reason. And considering I switched web hosts 4 times in two years, it turned out to be a good thing. It is really easy for me to change the DNS server on my domains registered with Directnic.
For web hosts, I started out with one website on a shared private server. It was free and generous, but in order to make changes I needed to go through the administator. I couldn’t make the changes myself. So, without really doing a lot of research I moved to GoDaddy.com. I was inexperienced and ended up getting confused and buying more than what I needed and not exactly what I wanted. I still have one of my domains and one email account hosted through them. And I’ve been happy with that. I just don’t care for all the upselling. A little upselling is good (would you like fries with that?) but too many choices everytime I make a selection is overwhelming to me. So, I sought a simpler approach.
Based on a recommendation from a person I respect, I moved over to GOT-hosting.com. It was simple, helpful, and reasonably priced. I would have stayed with them, but as the number of sites our family needed/wanted grew, I started wondering if there was a solution that would be more cost effective for a large number of sites.
Well God has an amazing way of answering prayer. In a teleseminar on information products, Bob Bly mentioned a host that allowed unlimited domains to be hosted for one price – Hostgator.com. I could hardly beleive it, but it is true. After checking out Hostgator’s site, flipping through their tutorials and help info, I talked to my hubby and we decided to try it with a new site I was creating for him. I found a coupon code that allowed me to get the first month’s hosting for a penny (yep, 1 cent!) and got started. Now I have all but one domain hosted with them and have been very pleased. So far I haven’t found anything I haven’t liked – support has been great, all the abilities I wanted are there, and I’m not overwhelmed.
If you want to self-host a Wordpress blog, no matter what host you do go with, be sure they have Fantastico, so installing a Wordpress blog (and other neat tools) can be done very quickly and in a few simple steps.
Anyway, hope that helps someone. If you have gone down this road and have some insight, please share. We can all learn from each other.
Many families, including our own, have struggled or are struggling with the awful Debt Monster, and with the natual consequences of having more bills than money. Debt is a area of personal struggle for us; one that God’s grace continues to see us through. If there’s one thing I know for certain it is that God’s provision is amazing.
So, on that note, here’s a real question (slightly edited to protect the family’s identity) with my response. I share it here to give encouragement to anyone else who may be going through a similar situation. If you have a testimony of God’s amazing provision, please blog about it and/or share it in the comments section. The more we can encourage each other and build each other’s faith, the better.
Question:
As our finances seem to keep getting tighter and tighter and dh’s stress level as sole-breadwinner is getting higher and higher, I needto start contributing to the family budget more than just sporadically. Dh believes that the only solution to this is to put the kids in public school/daycare and I go back to work full-time, as he’s on call 24/7 (so a part-time job on nights and weekends is out of the question). However, I know in my very soul that the commitment we made to homeschool our kids was one that God led us to.
I’m not very good at selling things so the whole party-plan business scene is out, plus we don’t have any start-up money for that kind of thing anyway. But I know that there’s got to be something I can do to bring in a little extra and take a little pressure off of him while still honoring the commitment we made to the kids. Help?! Are there any homeschooling-mom-friendly occupations out there or something I’m missing? I really need to come up with some options quickly, before this causes any more stress on him and on our marriage and family.
Response:
I’ve prayed a great deal about your situation and about responding, as my advice may be different than what others have said or what you may want to hear, but here goes. Know that we are praying for you and your situation and that God has a plan for you and your family. You may not know what it is yet, but his timing is perfect and you will be stronger for it in the end… I know it may not be consolation now, but believe me.. all you need is the faith of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20, Luke 17:6)
First, I have learned from experience that it is very important that you make a serious attempt to look into what your husband has proposed. It may not be the best option for your family, but for your marriage and your relationship and for your husband, it is important to give merit and time and energy to figuring out if putting the kids in daycare/public school and taking an outside job is a viable choice for your family. As others have mentioned, once you figure out the finances it may cause a negative cash flow for your family or you may be working just to pay for the experience of working. But for others, it may help. I’ve had to make these types of decisions and had to give up for a while my dream of being at home with my kids, because I could earn more out in the workplace, as a family it was a challenging time, but it also led to my ability to work at home and be at home and homeschool, so I know that good came from it all.
Start with taking a look at your own budget and figure out exactly what how much you family needs to increase income by. (I’m assuming you’ve already cut everything you can cut. For us Internet is necessity, my husband and I can’t work without it. If you continue with eBay as a source of income you will need that too. And sometimes, there’s just nothing else to cut, and that’s okay.) You need that number in order to make reasonable decisions as to what is possible for your family…
Then, take into consideration what all the expenses are going to be for you to return to an outside job, including child care, meals for the kids, meals for you, participating in “Office” potlucks/activities, commute(gas/toll), extra convenience meals at home because you are too tired to cook, dry cleaning, new “work” clothes you may need, sick child care (when the kids are sick and you have to work), all those things that will either increase from your current situation or will be added. And compare that to what you will be earning or your earning capacity. I recommend putting this in a spreadsheet or writing it out on a ledger and talking with your husband about what you may have missed, what may not be a factor, and counsel with him. It is really important from a marriage/relationship standpoint that you, with a good attitude, try to see if this is going to work. (Believe me, fights from not giving credence to your husbands’ solution are not fun.)
Here’s a few online calculators that will help with this:
Pray over the results, pray knowing that God has a solution and ask for guidance and the ability to obey his will. Be very cautious about praying for solutions you think are the right ones… Instead trust in God that he has a plan and pray for willingness to be obedient to him. (Believe me sometimes he’ll give you what you ask for, and it turns out more to be a character building experience than the right solution.) God is very creative. You’ll be amazed at what solutions He can come up with when you let him.
Next start making a list of all the skills and interests/passions you have. Dream BIG… write out your ideal job description, write out what is on your heart and in your dreams of how you can help out your household finances and be a helpmate to your husband, and be the mother and wife God has called you to be. This is really important, because what you can visualize, you can achieve, if you are willing to follow God’s plan for you and your family. God has a plan for this situation, really. And HE is the one who puts those dreams, those opportunities in your way.
We have had desperate financial situations in the past (just finished one) and have not known where or how things were going work out. But they did. Amazing things would happen. A full-time job once opened up at my husband’s employer that wanted my exact skill set and was at the time my dream job, exactly at the time where we were desperate for me to be earning full-time income. When that job ended being cut during lay-offs, the day they were laying people off, a recruiter called and asked if they were laying off anyone with my exact skill set. I got that job immediately and within a year I was working part-time at home part-time in the office and the next year was working full-time at home … and now I still do work with that company, only with them as one of my clients. Everytime I have no idea where the work is going to come from or how I’m going to get it all done, or how I’m going to make expenses work with the money we have available, a solution appears in the PERFECT timing (not necessarily my timing, but HIS timing). The GLORY is always HIS. I have learned through all of our adventures that if I only trust in HIM and not try to steer my own ship, it will work out.
Now as far as your situation, I will remain in prayer for your family and for your specific situation. Write out your ideal job, even if that is staying at home with your kids and working from home. Be specific, and don’t think inside the box… step outside and follow the dreams/passions God has given you. He will find a way to make it work, one stepping stone at a time. Opportunities will appear.
If he wants to you to homeschool and work, He will create the scenario for you do so. But if God asks you to put aside homeschooling for a short time, you need to be willing to follow that calling as well. Believe me, I cried many tears letting go of my will to follow God’s …especially everytime I had to turn my kids over to day care. But I also became more willing to do the hard things so that I wouldn’t need to do that for very long. He has a plan, and it sometimes isn’t the method we would have thought of or preferred.
Here’s a brief listing of “jobs” people I know who homeschool and work do: writing, photography, editing, desktop publishing, graphic design, accounting, analysis, research, transcription, sewing, sales, computer programming, online training, consulting, cleaning, internet marketing, eBay sales, day care … the list can go on. I also know of nurses, attorneys, farmers, business owners, etc. that homeschool and work. Your solution could be somewhere in this, or it could be something else that fits who you are and what is right for your family.
Also, be aware that if God creates an opportunity for you that includes needing the “tools” like start-up supplies, or software, or whatever, He is also amazing in that he will help you with that too. Recently I was offered an opportunity but my computer wasn’t powerful enough and I didn’t have the expensive software needed. God provided the computer for FREE and the software, purchased at hugely reduced rate by my client, arrived in the mail today! He is AMAZING!
Remember, God PROMISES to provide your basic needs (Matthew 6:25-34, 1Kings 17:4,6, 1 Timothy 6:8, Philippians 4:19). You will not starve, you will not go without clothes, you will not go without shelter. It may not always be what you want, but you will have your basic needs provided for. (I’m always amazed what you can do with a little bit of flour J) Another area within this that I had to grow in, is to be willing to accept help. God may be using your situation to speak to others. This is a huge area I struggled with and still do at times. I don’t know your struggles, only God really knows what areas he is trying to grow you in… have faith and trust, especially when things are hard and all you can do is cry out to Him.
We’re praying for you and your family. Keep praying and trust… it will all work out.
This homeschooling paper/article was orginally written in 2006, while I was working on my degree (hence the academic tone and APA format). I’ve shared it with a few new homeschoolers since then, but this is the first time it’s been generally available. Because of the rigid format, I was only able to use a few of the many examples I have of successful homeschool graduates. There are so many. Anyway, enjoy the article and if you have comments, please share them.
Also, feel free to link and reference this, but please do not copy and paste it anywhere without permission. Thanks!
Homeschooling: A Viable Educational Option
by Shannon Stoltz
When it comes to education today, parents and teachers alike are looking for ways to meet the needs of all students. Children come to education with different learning styles and interests. According to the Multiple Intelligence Theory, introduced by Howard Gardner in 1983, students even have different intelligences – at least nine of them. Unfortunately, most traditional schools only cater to two of the nine intelligences and two of the three main learning styles.
In an effort to meet the educational needs of all children, educational reformers have called for more school choice, open enrollment, privatization, and magnet schools (Bippus, 2005). In the 1990’s, the charter school movement joined the educational options (US Charter Schools, n.d.). School administrators are calling for raising parental accountability (Bippus, 2005). School officials are looking for more and more ways to involve parents in their children’s education (Davis & Lambie, 2005 & Monteverde, 2005).
Homeschooling as an Option
While schools and reformists look for ways to involve families in the school environment, many parents willing to take an active role in their child’s education are looking to homeschooling as a means to adapt school to their child. Legal in all American states, home-based education allows parents to individualize their children’s education to meet the individual needs and learning styles of their children.
By eliminating the social distractions and generalized approach of a classroom, parent-educators are able to customize their children’s education based on learning styles, social needs (introvert/extrovert), family dynamics, and the child’s natural strengths and interests. A child with strong auditory skills may use music, audio books, or documentaries. Kinesthetic children may use clay, salt, or sand for language arts and manipulatives for math. Introverted and intrapersonal children may be given the time and space they need to absorb what they are learning. Active children may jump on a trampoline during recitation or do quiet activities while listening to a book read aloud.
Rather than learning in theoretical environments or in contrived controlled situations (like a classroom store or school garden), homeschoolers integrate learning into their everyday world and use real-world situations for learning. Homeschoolers are involved in their family businesses, learning entrepreneurial skills; plant home gardens and sometimes raise small livestock; and shop with their parents and on their own.
Because of their flexible schedules, homeschoolers take advantage of community resources to further their learning experiences. They take classes from local colleges or subject matter experts, obtain private tutoring, and volunteer in the community. Elisha Blankenship, a homeschool graduate and the associate producer of the Sean Hannity Radio Show, began volunteering in political campaigns at the age of eight, allowing her to participate in 25 political campaigns by the time she reached college (Igarahsi & Sweetman, 2006).
While in traditional schools, students are introduced to subjects at the same time. Homeschool students have the opportunity and the time to learn subjects when they are developmentally and emotionally ready. Students then progress at their own individual rate, taking the necessary time to understand a subject before moving on. Advanced students are not held up by other students and slower students are not left behind.
Parents as Educators
While the benefits of homeschooling are plentiful, parents often question their ability to teach their own children. Doubts are cast by those like Dennis Evans (2003), director of Educational Leadership programs at UC Irvine, who says that parents lack the skills needed to teach. While parents may need training to teach a classroom of 20-40 students, parents interested in teaching their own are capable of doing so.
Research shows that there is no correlation between a parent’s teacher certification and the [homeschooled] student’s academic performance (Ray, 2004). In fact, research shows that students are more apt to succeed when their social, emotional and academic development are fully supported by their families (Davis & Lambie, 2005; US Department of Education, 1997). Even the US Department of Education recognizes that parents need to help their children learn (US Department of Education, 1997).
For children to be successful in school, parents and families need to be actively involved in their children’s learning… In fact, many studies show that what the family does is more important to a child’s school success than how much money the family makes or how much education the parents have (US Department of Education, 2005).
When parents-educators need assistance, help is plentiful. Homeschool support groups exist for each of the 50 United States and in most developed countries. Online groups share ideas, challenges, and support with parent-educators from around the globe. Print and online publications dedicated to home-based education flourish. Books, home education conferences, and homeschool supply companies all provide opportunities for parent-educators to learn from veteran homeschoolers.
Socialization of Homeschoolers
The most frequent concern about homeschooling is socialization. Many opposed to homeschooling insist that a child cannot be properly socialized in a homeschool environment. Unfortunately, this misconception is opposite of the truth. As Lucinda Kennaley (1998), the mother of three homeschooled children, describes below, homeschoolers typically have more than enough opportunity for socialization.
The experience of a homeschooled child doing lessons is not at all like the solitude of an otherwise-schooled child completing homework alone at night. In homeschool, there are co-ops for everything from science, math and environmental studies to physical education and art. There are baseball get togethers, chess clubs, field trips, study groups and reading clubs. Homeschoolers participate in dance, music, gymnastics, scouts and 4-H with school kids, as well as plays, horseback riding, reading groups, library programs, college classes, debates and more with otherwise-schooled kids and always-schooled others. Since most of these activities involve other people, parents are hard pressed to control the socializing that naturally occurs (Kennaley, 1998).
Not only are homeschoolers typically involved in extracurricular and faith-based activities, they are also involved in civic and volunteer activities, exposing them to a cross-section of age and cultural groups. Research shows that homeschoolers are significantly more civically active than their public-schooled peers (Ray, 2003). According to a research study of adults who were homeschooled for five or more years, previously-homeschooled adults “were very positive about their homeschool experience, actively involved in their local communities, keeping abreast of current affairs, highly civically engaged, …tolerant of others’ expressing their viewpoints…” (Ray, 2004).
Today, successful homeschoolers are so integrated into the fabric of our lives, we often are not aware that they were homeschooled. Household names like Florence Nightingale, Thomas Edison, and Ansel Adams were all homeschooled (Ferris, 2006). Homeschool graduate, Christopher Paolini authored the bestselling novel, Eragon and spent a year promoting reading to children (Frank, 2004). Drew Colfax, one of three homeschooled brothers accepted to Harvard in the 1980s, completed both medical school and law school and is now an attorney in Washington D.C. fighting for fair housing (Relman & Associates, n.d.).
While not all homeschool students become famous, the impact of homeschooling definitely makes a positive mark. Ansel Adams wrote “I trace who I am and the direction of my development to those years growing up in our house on the dunes, propelled especially by an internal spark tenderly kept alive and glowing by my father” (as cited, Ferris, 2006). Parents who are willing to keep that spark alive and take responsibility for their children’s education should consider homeschooling as a viable option.
References
Bippus, Stanley. (2005, Nov). Raising accountability for parents too. School Administrator, 49.
Davis, Keith M & Lambie, Glenn W. (2005, December). Family Engagement: A collaborative, systematic approach to middle school counselors. Professional School Counseling, 144-151.
Evans, Dennis L. (2003, September 3). Home is no place for school. USA Today, p. 11a.
US Department of Education. (1997). Family involvement in children’s education: Successful local approaches. Retrieved January 29, 2006 from US Department of Education website: http://www.ed.gov/pubs/FamInvolve/execsumm.html
Shannon Stoltz is a work-at-home, homeschooling mom to four fun kids. As a writer and consultant, Shannon balances homeschooling with work, juggling the roles of wife, mother, teacher, and business person. She embraces living life with her family and thoroughly enjoys raising responsible children who love to explore their world. Shannon can be reached at www.shannonstoltz.com or www.workathomehomeschoolingmom.com
Over on my Munya School blog, I promised to share if there were any freebie’s over at CurrClick today that were worth the visit…and since there are, I thought I’d share with you as well.
Reading 2 Digit Numbers – games for learning to read double digit numbers (Zach needs some help in this area and he loves games!)
Using the Net Teaching Multiplication – from Dori Oakes – she’s is a wealth of knowledge on where to find things on the web that work in a homeschool situation. (And Josh needs more practice on his multiplication)
Proverbs to Live By Copywork – The Godly Daughter - - usually I create my own copywork, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone else pull it together. In this case, I’d really like Kate to go through some of these proverbs and this will make a good reference.
Anyway, for today only CurrClick has 28 downloads available for FREE. These are just my picks for my needs. But if you head over there, you’ll find unit studies, an American Girl lapbook, tips for homeschooling, a nice variety. Probably something for everyone.
They also have a sale going (doesn’t everyone this weekend) on many of the seasonal products. I saw lapbooks from Hands of a Child (a favorite lapbook kit vendors), and a variety of other things. I’m considering picking up Homemade Gifts for $2.25.
Anyway, it’s worth checking out to see if there’s any freebies you are interested in.
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